Stop trying to fix these 3 things (they’re not the problem)

Dec 13

If you’re exhausted from trying so hard to fix yourself, this one’s for you.

Every week, I see high-achievers wasting ridiculous amounts of time and energy trying to solve problems that aren’t actually problems. And when you spend all your mental energy trying to “fix” yourself, you never get to focus on what actually creates results.

So let’s clear the air. Here are three things you keep trying to fix that don’t need fixing, and what to do instead.

1. You Feel Like Crap Sometimes (And That’s Normal)

Unmotivated? Overwhelmed? Frustrated? Tired?
Cool. Me too.

Because you’re a human being, not a weird robot.

Most people treat emotions like glitches in the system - something to be “fixed” or avoided. But emotions aren’t problems. They’re data.

Feeling bad doesn’t mean something’s gone wrong. It means you’re aware.

Your emotions are information about what’s happening inside you.
Feeling anxious might mean your brain thinks something’s uncertain.
Feeling unmotivated might mean you’re out of alignment with your values.
Feeling irritated might mean you’ve ignored your own needs for too long.

When you label emotions as “bad,” you waste energy fighting your own biology.
When you listen to them, you get your power back.

So stop trying to “feel better” all the time.
Start getting curious about why you feel how you do.

That’s emotional intelligence…and it’s one of the most powerful success skills you can build.

[SIDE NOTE: If you feel so bad that it’s getting in the way of you doing life and work, then that is something that should be addressed with a therapist or mental health professional before you start going after your goals]

2. You Doubt Yourself (Because You’re Growing)

Ah yes, self-doubt. That fun little gremlin that pops up every time you try to do something new.

Here’s the thing: self-doubt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re doing something right.

When you try to build a new skill, start a new business, or make a big change, your brain goes, “Whoa. We’ve never done this before. Proceed with caution.”

That’s not failure. That’s growth.

The confidence myth

You don’t magically feel confident first and then take action.
You take action first, survive it, and then confidence shows up later.

Confidence is the result of action, not the prerequisite.

If you’re waiting to feel confident before you start? You’ll be waiting forever.

So instead of trying to “fix” your self-doubt, let it ride shotgun.
You can doubt yourself and still take the next step.
That’s how real confidence is built - one brave, imperfect action at a time.

3. You Don’t Know “How” (Yet)

I get it. You love a plan.
You want the checklist, the blueprint, the magic “how-to.”

But here’s the truth: not knowing how isn’t the problem.
It’s waiting to feel ready before you start that keeps you stuck.

You can Google every strategy on earth. You can binge tutorials and buy courses.
But at some point, you just have to start.

The only way to find your “how” is to do it.

You learned to walk by walking.
You learned to ride a bike by falling.
You’ll learn how to build your dream life the same way — by showing up, learning, and adjusting as you go.

When you stop trying to find the perfect plan and start taking messy action, you’ll realize that clarity comes from movement.

The Real Reason You’re Wasting Time

Here’s the tough love:
You’re not stuck because you’re doing something wrong.

You’re stuck because you’re solving the wrong problems.

You’re trying to fix feelings that don’t need fixing.
You’re trying to eliminate doubt that’s just part of growth.
You’re trying to map out a “how” that only reveals itself through doing.

And while you’re busy tinkering with the wrong things, you’re missing opportunities to actually move forward.

When you stop “fixing” yourself and start acting on what matters, everything speeds up.

How to Stop Fixing and Start Growing

Here’s how to stop wasting time on fake problems:

Name the real problem.
Ask: “Is this actually a problem, or just a feeling I don’t like?”

Let feelings be feelings.
You don’t need to analyze every emotion. Sometimes you just need a snack and a nap.

Do one thing that moves you forward.
Action kills anxiety. Even a tiny step builds momentum.

Use curiosity instead of judgment.
Replace “What’s wrong with me?” with “What’s happening for me right now?”

Build tolerance for discomfort.
Most people quit right before it gets good. Learn to stay through the hard part.

The Bottom Line: You Don’t Need Fixing

Every client I’ve ever worked with who achieved massive success had one thing in common: they stopped wasting time trying to fix who they were and started focusing on where they were going.

Growth doesn’t mean becoming someone new.

It means removing what’s been blocking the real you this whole time.

So stop fixing fake problems.

Feel your feelings. Doubt yourself. Figure it out as you go.

And watch how much faster things start happening when you stop standing in your own way.

Are you ready to do the impossible?

Hi! I’m Erica

Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.

I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach and career coach. I help you accomplish in 6 months that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for years.