Summary
"Should I stay or should I go?" I've thought about this question from every angle - 11 years as a therapist, 10 in corporate America, and 4ish coaching high-achievers. And I think I've landed on the biggest sign it's time for a new role. It's not boredom, burnout, or even hating your job. It's something quieter, and once you spot it, you can't unsee it.
Key Points
Not all challenges are equal. Some grow you. Some just grind you down.
"Bad" challenges: too much work, constant frustration, soul-sucking boredom. None of them build you. All of them deplete you.
"Good" challenges: the kind that make you question your abilities, stretch your skills, and move you toward the person you're becoming.
If you're only challenged in the bad ways and never the good ones, you've probably outgrown your role.
The "what else?" voice asking for more doesn't go away. It's usually calling you to the next thing.
I once had a job where I’d call my coworker, Dave, almost daily and say, “Help me not quit today.”
His response? “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
Dave was great for support. Career advice not so much.
After a recent corporate merger, my role had changed into one that wasn’t what I’d signed up for. I was pretty sure I was going to die of boredom.
Dave would listen to me vent about how bored and underutilized I was.
I’d leave feeling (sort of) less ragey but just as unfulfilled and lost.
So if you’re wondering - “Should I stay or should I go?”
I might have the answer for you right here.
After 11 years as a therapist, 10 years working in Corporate America as a management consultant, and 7ish years in Denver as a life coach and career coach for high-achievers all over the world, I think I’ve landed on the biggest sign you’re ready for a new job.
Here she is:
You’re challenged in all the wrong ways and none of the good ways
I’ve been in that place.
I’ve worked with countless people who have been in that place.
And this is like THE death knell for any job.
What are “bad” work challenges?
Not all challenges are created equally. But when it comes to labeling something as “bad,” here’s my criteria:
IT DOESN’T HELP YOU GROW - LIKE, AT ALL
Because growth is hella uncomfortable. That’s what makes it challenging!
So here are some things I would consider “bad” work challenges:
Too much to do - The work doesn’t challenge you in any way. But you have too much of it to do.
Frustration - Every day you try NOT to lose your shit or have a Jerry McGuire moment
Boredom - Your work is so boring that you spend most of your energy trying to muster up the motivation to do the bare minimum
If not quitting, not losing your shit on someone, or just trying to get your work down are the only challenges you experience at work - Houston, we have a problem.
The “good” kind of work challenges
I had a client who wanted a promotion but she wasn’t sure if she was ready. “I don’t know everything about how to do it yet.”
My response: “If you want a job where you know everything, you should stay exactly where you are.”
Being capable and ready doesn’t mean you won’t feel challenged.
“Good” challenges help you grow.
They might be scary. They might make you throw up in your mouth a little.
Hell, they might make you question your intelligence or capabilities (that’s where a coach comes in handy, FYI).
But they create GROWTH. And growth requires discomfort.
This is where you:
Learn new stuff
Gain new skills
Explore your potential
Break through your limits
You were built for growth
Your job might not make you feel crazy or bored…yet.
In which case - ENJOY YOURSELF! This is the part where you get to relax, feel comfortable, and savor the success you’ve already created.
The comfort zone is a great place. It’s a place to rest, recover, and calibrate to success and past growth.
BUT if there’s a little voice inside that keeps asking, “What else?” I can tell you, that voice doesn’t usually go away.
It’s calling you to the next thing.
And I'm here to tell you, you're ready for it.
Knowing you've outgrown your role is the easy part though. Figuring out what's next, and actually landing there, is where most people get stuck.
That "what else?" voice doesn't usually go away on its own.
If it's getting louder and you know you're ready for the next level, that's where I come in.
We work on the stuff that actually moves the needle: leading well, being seen, positioning yourself for the promotion or the new role, and not repeating the patterns that got you stuck in this one.
FAQs About Outgrowing Your Job
Q: How do I know if I’ve outgrown my job?
The clearest sign is when all your challenges are the draining kind (too much to do, constant frustration, soul-crushing boredom) and none of them are growing you. If you can’t remember the last time you learned something new or felt in over your head in a good way, you’ve probably hit the ceiling of what this role can teach you.
Q: What’s the difference between outgrowing a job and just being bored?
Boredom is part of it, but outgrowing goes deeper. When you’re bored, you need something more interesting to do. When you’ve outgrown your role, you need a completely new and bigger arena. The next version of you can’t develop here. And it’s not because the job is bad. It’s just that you’ve gotten everything you can out of it.
Q: Can I outgrow a job I actually like?
Yes, and this one trips people up all the time. Loving your team, your boss, or your flexibility doesn’t mean you’re still growing. A lot of people stay stuck in roles that are “just okay” because leaving feels ungrateful. But comfort and growth aren’t the same thing, and staying too long has its own slow cost.
Q: What if I’ve outgrown my job but don’t want to leave my company?
Talk to your manager before you start looking externally. Ask what’s next, propose something if you have to. Internal moves come with less risk, and companies would usually rather keep you than lose you. I’ve had a number of clients create brand new jobs within their current companies. You just have to ask for it.
Q: I know I’ve outgrown my role but I’m scared to leave. Now what?
Of course you’re scared. Change almost always makes the brain freak out because the future of the unknown is scarier than the frustration of the familiar. But fear doesn’t mean stop. The question is - how do you move forward with intention and what is staying costing you?
Keep Reading: Other posts you might need
Why you're ready for the next level but can't seem to get there - The identity shifts that have to happen when you outgrow your current role.
5 signs you're in the wrong job - If you're wondering whether you've outgrown the role or the role was never right.
Am I burned out or in the wrong job? - Because sometimes outgrowing looks a lot like burnout.
4 things to do before you quit your job - Once you know you're ready to leave, here's how to exit well.
Hi! I’m Erica
Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.
I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach and career coach. I help you accomplish in 6 months that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for years.
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