Moral Fatigue: How to keep going without feeling guilty you’re not doing more

It’s a weird time to be alive and trying to do regular life.

Listen - I’m not going to pretend this is a normal moment that just requires better coping skills. 

The news is filled with shit that can stop you in your tracks. 

But, hey, that’s not really an option, is it?

‘Cause hello. You’ve got emails to reply to, dishes to wash, and oh yeah - don’t forget to make sure you’re reaching your potential, succeeding in your career, and doing date night once a month.

Come on, life and work were already hard enough before. And we JUST got through COVID for crying out loud. 

I’m hearing it from a lot of my clients. They have goals. Responsibilities. Shit to do. But NOW THIS?!  

So this post is for all y’all who are wondering how you’re supposed to keep showing up, getting your shit done, and not feel like a helpless observer.

Let’s get into it.

Why caring so much is exhausting

Caring takes energy. 

Not in a noble or inspirational way. More in a “why am I so tired when I didn’t technically do that much today?” way.

When you’re paying attention to what’s happening and trying to live your actual life at the same time, your brain never really shuts off. 

You’re reading upsetting news and then taking out the trash. Feeling concern and then making dinner. Thinking about the state of the world and then wondering if you’re behind in your career.

That kind of constant switching adds up.

If you’re someone who stays engaged and doesn’t check out, this hits harder. You keep showing up. You keep thinking. You keep caring. That level of awareness carries weight.

Of course you’re tired.

Why it feels like you’re not doing enough

Your discomfort isn’t about not caring. 

You care a lot. Like, a lot. 

And then you look at what you actually did that day and it feels… embarrassingly small in comparison.

You’re still:

• Going to work

• Answering emails

• Taking out the trash

• Getting your tax paperwork together

And it’s like: Shouldn’t I be doing more than this?

So guilt creeps in.

• Doing regular life feels like disengagement

• Focusing on your life starts to feel irresponsible

• Not being constantly consuming news starts to feel like you’re missing something

This kind of tension shows up for people who actually give a damn.

What “enough” looks like right now

There’s no clear agreement on what “enough” is supposed to look like.

My clients are busy people. It’s not like they have tons of extra time and energy.

So the real work right now is choosing what “enough” looks like based on your actual capacity, not some imaginary moral standard.

Think in terms of energy cost and impact

Not everything requires the same amount of effort. And not everything that takes a lot of energy actually makes a difference.

Low energy cost, meaningful impact:

• Donating to a cause you care about

• Setting up a monthly donation and then letting it run

• Boycotting companies that don’t align with your values (Goods Unite Us is helpful for getting this information)

• Supporting businesses that do

Low to moderate energy cost, lower impact:

• Signing petitions from organizations you trust

• Sharing vetted resources when you have the bandwidth

• Having one thoughtful conversation with someone who’s open, not hostile

Moderate energy cost, high impact:

• Calling or emailing representatives

• Voting in local and national elections

• Talking with your kids about what’s happening in an age-appropriate way

• Teaching values through everyday choices and conversations

Higher energy cost, meaningful impact:

• Taking a class or learning how to advocate in your community

• Volunteering with an organization you trust

• Helping vulnerable neighbors

• Marching or protesting

And then there’s the category no one talks about enough.

High energy cost, very low impact (aka - Avoid this crappola):

• Consuming the same upsetting news and videos on a loop

• Doom scrolling

• Arguing with strangers online (Psst…might wanna read about the Backfire Effect)

• Reading hate comments that are probably bots anyway

• Getting worked up without a place for that energy to go

If something drains you and doesn’t actually move anything forward, it’s okay to question whether it deserves your limited energy.

Choosing lower-energy, higher-impact actions is not disengagement. It’s discernment.

And “enough” might look different this week than it does next month. That’s perfectly fine too!

How constant news consumption affects your mental health

A few years ago, I was doing one of those depression/anxiety screenings with a mental health professional.

You know the questions:

• “Do you feel down, depressed, or hopeless?”

• “Are you having trouble sleeping?”

• “Do you have trouble concentrating?”

For almost every question, I answered: “Yeah. I watch the news.”

She paused. And said, “Maybe you need to stop watching the news.”

Constant exposure to distressing information is bad for you (duh). But did you know it’s also traumatizing? Doesn’t matter that you weren’t there in person or that it didn’t happen directly to you. 

People who watched videos of the attacks on September 11 had all kinds of trauma. 

So watching or reading about people getting killed, brutalized, dehumanized is not neutral input. Your nervous system processes it as a threat, even if it’s happening thousands of miles away. 

And when that exposure is constant, your body stays in chronic fight-or-flight. 

How to stay informed without sacrificing your mental health (for real)

“But I need to stay informed!” I responded when that nurse told me to stop watching the news. 

So I get it. 

Turning off the news feels irresponsible. Like, if you’re not fully up to date, it means you don’t care. 

But that’s not how being informed works. 

You don’t need to consume EVERYTHING to stay oriented. You just need ENOUGH information to understand what’s happening and how you want to respond. 

Here are some ways to stay informed without frying your nervous system:

Stick to headlines first.
Headlines usually tell you what you need to know. If something truly requires deeper attention, you can choose to read more. You don’t need the play-by-play of every tragedy to stay informed. 

Turn off breaking news notifications.
Your nervous system doesn’t need to be cattle-prodded multiple times a day. You can check the news intentionally instead of having it shoved into your pocket.

Set a news window.
Pick a specific time to catch up. Morning or early afternoon works better than late at night. Doom scrolling before bed is a guaranteed way to sleep like garbage.

Balance your input.
If all you consume is crisis, your brain starts to believe crisis is the only thing happening. Make room for good or neutral news too. Cat videos are good too. It helps restore perspective.

Choose fewer, more reliable sources.
Following everything and everyone just creates noise. Pick a couple of outlets you trust and ignore the rest.

Notice what actually moves you to action.
If certain content consistently leaves you activated but powerless, it might not be worth your energy. Information is only helpful if it leads somewhere.

Staying informed does not require staying flooded.

Caring does not require constant exposure.

And protecting your mental health makes it more likely that you’ll keep showing up in ways that actually make a difference.

By the way - I did cut waaaaaaay back on my news and my mental health got SO MUCH BETTER.

How to hold both: Your life and a world in crisis

This moment is asking a lot of you. 

It’s asking you to stay aware without being consumed. To care deeply without falling apart. To keep living your life without pretending nothing is happening.

That balance isn’t something you solve once. It’s something you adjust, over and over again.

Some days, staying engaged will look like reading, learning, donating, or speaking up. Other days, it will look like pulling back so you can actually function. 

Both matter.

You’re not doing this wrong if you feel torn. That tension is part of being thoughtful and alive in a complicated world.

The goal isn’t to care less.
It’s to care in a way you can sustain.

And if you’re paying attention to your limits while staying connected to your values, you’re already doing the work.

What kind of support makes sense right now

If right now you’re feeling intense distress, panic, or a sense that you’re not okay, this is where working with a therapist could be great. A world in crisis can absolutely bring up anxiety, depression, or trauma responses, and you deserve support for that.

I like using psychologytoday.com to find awesome therapists and filter to find one that’s the right fit. 

If, on the other hand, this moment is amplifying stress that was already there, the constant juggling, the pressure to hold everything together, the guilt about not doing enough while still trying to function, that’s where coaching can be helpful.

I work with people who want support figuring out how to balance a full life, real responsibilities, and a heavy world without burning out or turning on themselves. If you want to learn more about that, you can explore my coaching here. 

You don’t need to deal with all of this alone. 

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Hi! I’m Erica

Licensed psychotherapist. Corporate dropout. Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. ADHDer. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. Swear words enthusiast.

I know exactly what it’s like to have a life that looks successful on the outside but feel chronically exhausted, frustrated, and completely lost on the inside.

I help underachieving high-achievers create lives and careers they love, without burning out.

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