How to be seen as a leader at work

Okay, let’s have us a real heart-to-heart about what’s going on with your work reputation.

If you’ve ever stared at your horrifying, never-ending to-do list thinking, “Cool cool cool… everyone depends on me but somehow no one sees me as an actual leader,” 

OR if you just got promoted and are suddenly like, “Wait, do I… look like I know what I’m doing?” 

…you’re not alone.

Whether you’re being passed over for recognition or trying to project actual executive presence in your shiny new role, the feeling is the same: You want to be seen as a leader.

So let’s talk about how to actually do that (without working more, morphing into someone you’re not, or pretending you’re suddenly exuding “executive presence” like a middle-schooler who just discovered Axe Body Spray.)

Shift From “Doer” to “Driver”

Here’s where a lot of wildly capable people unintentionally screw themselves over:
They become everyone’s favorite “doer.”

You know exactly what I mean.

• Someone drops the ball? You pick it up.

• A deadline is neglected? You handle it before anyone else even notices.

• Someone panics? You fix it because if you don’t, who will?

• A coworker sends you a “quick question” at 4:59 pm? You’re already responding even though your soul is halfway out the door.

And because you can do everything… guess what?
People keep giving you everything.

This is a problem.

Leaders aren’t valued for how much work they take on.
They’re valued for how they think, how they communicate, and how they help everyone else move in the right direction.

So if you want people to start seeing you as a leader, here’s the sneaky identity shift:

Move from “the person who gets it done” to “the person who figures out what needs to happen next.”

It’s subtle, but it changes the whole energy.

Try this the very next time someone hands you a problem:

Instead of immediately saying, “I can do that,” try: “Here’s what I recommend.”

Boom. Instant leadership energy.

You’re no longer the office Roomba quietly vacuuming up everyone’s chaos.

You’re the person guiding the room. Calmly and clearly.

Executive Presence: What People Think It Is (and What It Actually Is)

Let’s talk about the phrase everyone loves to throw around in performance reviews: executive presence.

Half the time, people use it like it’s some magical aura. Like you either have it or you don’t.
Spoiler: you do. You probably just haven’t been told what it actually means.

Here’s the truth: executive presence isn’t about fancy suits, taking over, or being intimidating. It’s about clarity, calm, and confidence.

• Clarity: You know what you’re saying and why you’re saying it

• Calm: You don’t lose your mind when things go sideways

• Confidence: You speak and make decisions like you belong in the room (because you do)

That’s it.
No corporate sorcery required.

Talk Like the Most Confident Version of Yourself 

You know that version of you who shows up for your friends like you have all the answers?

The one who says things like, “Here’s what’s actually happening” and “Okay, no, that’s not true” and “You’re spiraling. Take a breath”?

That version of you is a leader.

But at work?
A lot of high achievers shrink.

Not because you don’t know what you’re doing (you do) but because you either:
A. Don’t trust that you have good things to say or
B. Don’t want to come across as arrogant, rude, or That Person who loves the sound of their own voice

So your sentences get softer and softer until you’re basically apologizing for having a pulse.

Phrases like:

• “I could be wrong but…”

• “Does that make sense?”

• “Maybe we could try…?”

• “Sorry, quick question…”

They sound harmless. But they make you sound hesitant, apologetic, and small.
And that can quietly chip away at the authority you actually do have.

But, never fear! You don’t have to become louder, colder, or more performative.

You just need a few simple swaps that signal leadership without turning you into a corporate cyborg.

Try saying things like:

• “Here’s what I recommend.”

• “Let me know if you see it differently”

• “Let me offer another perspective..”

• “Here’s what will move this forward.”

• “Let me clarify what we’re trying to accomplish.”

None of this is high-fiving yourself in the mirror energy.

It’s just speaking with the same confidence you already use in real life. You know - the voice you have when you’re comfortable, confident, and not trying to earn a gold star for being polite.

The more your communication matches the competence you already have, the faster people start treating you like the leader you are.

Be the Person Who Solves Problems, Without Absorbing Everyone’s Chaos

Awkward moment of truth here - The person who stays calm and sets boundaries always looks more like a leader than the person who runs around fixing all the problems.

Being dependable doesn’t mean being the team’s emotional support person.

If you’re constantly swooping in, over-prepping, and fixing everything yourself, people start to assume that’s YOUR ROLE.

And suddenly you find yourself doing 3 jobs and secretly hating everyone.

Leaders don’t take on every problem. They provide a path forward. 

Next time something starts to spin out, try saying:

• “Here’s what we can do with the time we have.”

• “Here’s what needs to happen before we move forward.”

• “Let’s focus on what’s most important right now.”

Boundaries aren’t barriers. They’re leadership.

They show you’re thinking strategically, not frantically, and that your time (and sanity) matter.

Be Visible in a Way That Builds Trust

You can’t be seen as a leader if no one actually sees you. But visibility isn’t about being all “look at me!”

It’s about being visibly trustworthy and dependable, not just behind the scenes.

People trust leaders who are clear, consistent, and easy to follow.

Start small:

• Speak up once in every meeting with a clear takeaway, next step, or thoughtful question

• Follow up on projects with a short “Here’s what worked and what’s next”

• Loop in key people early instead of fixing everything alone

• Share credit when things go well (it shows confidence, not modesty)

You’re not trying to prove you’re the smartest person in the room. 

You’re showing that people can count on you to bring clarity, direction, and follow-through.

That’s what earns trust.
And trust is what makes people see you as a leader.

You’re Already Leading. It’s Time People Noticed.

You don’t need a new title, a louder voice, or a full personality transplant to be seen as a leader.

You already are one.
You just haven’t been letting people see that version of you consistently.

Leadership isn’t about being the busiest person in the room. Or the loudest.

It’s about being the calmest, clearest, and most intentional.

Every time you hold a boundary, ask a smart question, or say what you mean without overexplaining, you’re leading.

You don’t have to overperform.

You just have to start showing up like the person who already knows what she’s doing (because, spoiler alert, you do).

If you’re ready to stop feeling invisible at work and start being seen as the calm, confident leader you already are, let’s talk.

👉 Book a free consultation and let’s get you clear, confident, and recognized for what you bring to the table.

FAQ: Becoming the Kind of Person People See as a Leader

How do I get people to take me seriously at work?
Start by tightening up your communication. Speak clearly, directly, and confidently, even when you’re nervous. You don’t need to talk more; you need to talk with purpose. (The table above is your cheat sheet.)

What if I’m not in a management role yet?
Doesn’t matter. Leadership is about how you show up, not your job title. When you make decisions, share ideas, and stay calm under pressure, people naturally start treating you like a leader.

I worry I’ll sound arrogant if I try to sound more confident.
You won’t. Arrogance is only feeling confident when you’re the “best” in the room. Confidence is owning your power. It’s saying “I’m amazing and you are too.” Confidence creates safety, not intimidation.

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Hi! I’m Erica

Licensed psychotherapist. Corporate dropout. Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. ADHDer. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. Swear words enthusiast.

I know exactly what it’s like to have a life that looks successful on the outside but feel chronically exhausted, frustrated, and completely lost on the inside.

I help underachieving high-achievers create lives and careers they love, without burning out.

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