4 ways low self-confidence is burning you out (and how to fix it)

May 2

You might think burnout comes from working too much (and yeah - working too much can totally burn you out)

But what if it’s actually your lack of self-confidence that’s draining you?

Low self-confidence doesn’t just make you doubt yourself.
It quietly shapes how you make decisions, spend your time, follow through (or don’t), and live your entire life.

And when your relationship with yourself is shaky, burnout creeps in fast…no matter how many productivity hacks or planners you try.

Here are four sneaky ways low self-confidence is jacking you up and burning you out, plus what to do instead.

1 - You hustle for proof you can do it (and exhaust yourself in the process)

If you feel a frantic need to hit your goals yesterday, you’re probably running on self-doubt.

You’re hustling not because you believe you can hit the goal. But because you need proof you can. You want evidence you’re good enough.

So you go all-in. You overwork. You “do all the things.”

And as soon as things stop going perfectly, your inner critic pops up like,

“See? I told you. You can’t do this, you big fat Lame-oh.”

Cue the crash-and-burn cycle:
all-out effort → disappointment → exhaustion → shame → repeat.

Try this instead:
You don’t have to believe you can do it right away.
You just have to believe it’s possible.

And let consistency, not panic, carry you forward.

Replace “I have to prove myself” with “I’m curious what I’m capable of.”

2 - You’re too nice. You say “yes” to everyone (except yourself)

If you’re the go-to person for everyone else, but secretly resent how much you give, this one’s for you.

Saying “yes” to everything is a symptom of needing validation to feel good.

If other people are happy, you feel safe.
If they’re disappointed, you spiral.

But every “yes” to something you don’t want to do is a “no” to something that actually matters to you.

And that’s how resentment (and burnout) build up quietly under the surface.

Try this instead:
Start with one small “no” this week.

Remind yourself: boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re self-respect in action.

Every time you protect your time, you strengthen your self-trust (and your energy).

3 - You think you have to “prove yourself,” which puts you in a constant state of fight or flight

Ever catch yourself thinking,

“I just need to prove I can do it” or “I’ll show them”?

That “prove it” energy feels productive. But it actually keeps you in fight-or-flight mode.

Because what you’re really trying to do isn’t prove your worth… it’s disprove your fear that you’re not enough.

That’s why you feel anxious even when you’re “winning.” You’re running uphill trying to outrun a belief that’s chasing you.

Try this instead:
Shift from proving to revealing.
Instead of “I have to prove I can,” try:

“I want to see what I can do.”
“I’m curious how far I can go.”
“I want to reveal my potential - to myself.”

Those thoughts fuel excitement instead of exhaustion.

4 - You never celebrate your wins (so nothing ever feels good enough)

You hit your goal! You did something amazing! You are amazing! YAY!

But instead of popping some champagne and doing a little dance, your brain immediately is like “Cool. What’s next?”

It doesn’t feel that good.

And maybe you’re worried that if you celebrate, people will think you’re bragging.
Maybe you worry that if you celebrate and you’re not able to hold onto the accomplishment, you’ll feel really bad.
Maybe you worry that it was all a fluke and it doesn’t count.

So you move on to the next goal.

When you skip celebration, your brain never learns that success feels good - so it keeps chasing the next thing to finally feel “enough.” That’s the burnout loop: achieve, dismiss, repeat.

Try this instead:
Practice celebrating before the finish line.

Pop the champagne when you start, when you take a step, when you keep going after a setback. And when you do the damn thing (obvs)

You’re teaching your brain that progress counts. And that you’re worthy of pride every step of the way.

Every step you take toward your goal brings you closer to accompishing it. So every step is an accomplishment.

How to build real confidence (without burning out)

True confidence doesn’t come from results.

It comes from the way you talk to yourself when things don’t go perfectly.

Confidence is:

Keeping your word to yourself, even when no one’s watching.
Celebrating effort, not just outcomes.
Talking to yourself like someone you love — not someone you’re trying to impress.

Confidence doesn’t have to be earned.
Your worthiness doesn’t have to be proven.

You’re already enough - exactly as you are.

Keep Reading

Ready to stop burning out and start feeling confident?

If you’re done working yourself into the ground just to feel “enough,” let’s fix that.

I help high-achievers rebuild their confidence, set boundaries that stick, and take action without burning out.

Book a free consultation and let’s make your next chapter feel as good as it looks.

Are you ready to do the impossible?

Hi! I’m Erica

Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.

I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach and career coach. I help you accomplish in 6 months that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for years.