5 signs your workplace is toxic

Summary

You dread Mondays. You fantasize about working at Starbucks. Your friends keep telling you to quit. But is it the workplace or is it you? (Are you the drama?) This post breaks down the five real signs of a toxic workplace, so you can stop second-guessing yourself and figure out what to actually do about it. Also, there's a story about a boss who made me write down every time I went into a coworker's office to eat lunch.

Key Points

• Hating your job and being in a toxic workplace aren't the same thing. Knowing the difference matters.

• Micromanagement is usually the first giveaway. When a workplace tracks your every move, they've already told you they don't trust you.

• Bad communication (no info, or only-negative info, or contradictory info) will wear you down in slow motion. Like being asked to bake a cake without a recipe.

• When everyone around you is miserable, that's information. Toxic workplaces rarely have just one bad apple. The whole orchard's gone bad.

• If raising concerns gets you shut down with "be grateful you have a job," you've got your answer.

You spend Sunday dreading Monday.

You think, “Maybe I should work at Starbucks. I hear they have good benefits.”

Your friends and family keep telling you to quit.

But is it the workplace? Is it you? Are you the drama? Have you gotten everything you need from this job and it’s time to move on?

I’ve got you. We’re going to crack this code once and for all.

Psst…Need to quit your job? Make sure you do these four things first!

What exactly is a toxic workplace?

I know you think your coworker chews too loudly and your work is boring and your colleagues are all slackers and you feel totally unfulfilled.

But just because you don't like your workplace doesn’t mean it’s toxic (That would be like calling your partner a narcissist because they leave toothpaste in the sink after you told them not to for the millionth time. Slow your roll, partner.)

A "toxic workplace" is a work environment that creates DISTRESS for the people who work there.

This goes beyond bored and frustrated.

You’ll feel:

• Burnt out

• Disrespected

• De-valued

• Anxious

And you might overthink every little interaction because if you say or do the wrong thing there could be consequences.

A toxic workplace has such bad mojo that it can have a negative impact on your mental and physical health.

And for an extra kick in the pants, that’s probably going to impact your happiness at home too. :(

If you’re spending your work week experiencing one or more of the following things, you might be in a toxic workplace (which means they’re the drama, not you):

Toxic workplace sign 1: Micromanagement

I once had a supervisor who made me write down where I was every moment of the day. If I went into Jacque’s office to eat my lunch, I had to write it on a sign. Eye roll. (Fun fact: My next boss was like, “Stop telling me where you are all the time! Just do your job!” He was the best boss I ever had. lol)

Micromanagement in the workplace is a double whammy.

Because a workplace that makes people constantly check-in about every little thing is basically saying, "I don't trust you to do a good job."

And you’re going to feel patronized and disrespected.

Toxic workplace sign 2: Sucky communication

We’ve got a few flavors of the sucky communication at work sign.

1. Your workplace expects you to do a good job but they don’t give you the information you need.

They’re like, “Go bake a fabulous cake but also, there’s no recipe and you have to find the ingredients yourself!”

Chances are, you’re going to feel stressed and anxious and your cake is going to taste like shit.

2.Your workplace communicates all the time - But it’s all negative.

You work your butt off but all you hear is criticism (and then they wonder why morale is so low).

Enough said.

3. Your workplace gives conflicting information

Boss Jane says to prioritize your TPS reports. But Boss Bob says you should prioritize OPP reports. And you feel like Marla Hooch in A League of Their Own - Do you listen to Tom Hanks or Geena Davis?

You get a glowing annual review followed up by a letter outlining how you’re not meeting expectations. Say what?

Color you confused.

Toxic workplace sign 3: No boundaries

Your boss works around the clock and does conference calls from Disney World while on family vacation and sends emails on Saturdays or at 9:30pm every night. Cool. Maybe your boss loves to work.

But if YOU are expected to be available around the clock, that’s a different story.

Unless you explicitly signed up to be at their beck and call, you may have a toxic workplace situation.

Toxic workplace sign 4: Everyone is miserable

Does your workplace look like Bergen Town in Trolls?

Are people are only happy when they’re going on vacation or quitting?

Does everyone gossip as the primary form of communication?

Do people call in “sick” all the time?

Is everyone looking for their next job?

….Call Britney Spears because your workplace is TOXIC.

Toxic workplace sign 5: Your concerns are dismissed

No workplace is perfect. Therefore, concerns are totally normal.

There’s always room for improvement.

But if you’ve ever pointed out an issue only to be told, "Be happy you even have a job," you're almost certainly in a toxic workplace. 

You’re in a toxic workplace. Now what?

I’m going to do a whole other post about this, but here are a few options:

• Run issues up the flagpole. If it’s just one or two people who are toxic and not the whole workplace, talking to HR or a boss’s boss could be a good option.

• Address the issue head-on. If you explain your concerns and nothing changes, at least you’ll know that you tried. (side note: this may not be a good idea if there’s a history of workplace retaliation)

• Document. “It didn’t happen if it’s not written down.” Try to communicate in writing as much as possible. If you need to record conversations, check the laws in your state.

• GTFO. If you’ve done everything to try to make it work and it still doesn’t work. It may be time to move on.

Your work life is a big part of your life. Don’t settle.

A toxic workplace won't fix itself, and white-knuckling through it isn't a long-term strategy.

If you're trying to decide whether to stay and advocate for change or get out and land somewhere healthier, that's what I do with clients.

We figure out whether leaving is really the answer, how to exit without torching your reputation, and (once you're in a new role or negotiating your current one) how to actually thrive instead of repeating the same patterns in a new place.

FAQs About Toxic Workplaces

Q: What exactly is a toxic workplace? 
A: A toxic workplace is one that creates real distress for the people in it, beyond the normal annoyances of a job you don't love. You'll feel burnt out, disrespected, anxious, and like you're walking on eggshells. If saying or doing the wrong thing could have real consequences, that's the clue.

Q: How do I know if my workplace is toxic or if I'm just unhappy? 
A: If you're bored, frustrated, or unfulfilled, that's usually a job mismatch and fixable with a new role. If you're anxious before meetings, overthinking every interaction, losing sleep, and watching your mental and physical health take hits, you're in toxic territory, and no amount of mindset work is going to save it.

Q: Should I quit if my workplace is toxic? 
A: Not necessarily right this second, especially if you don't have a backup plan. But staying indefinitely in a toxic environment will cost you more than you think - your confidence, your health, your relationships outside of work. If you've tried to address the issues and nothing changed, or there's a history of retaliation, quitting is usually the right call. Just quit smart. Save the blaze-of-glory exit for the movie version.

Q: How do I document a toxic workplace? 
A: Communicate in writing as much as possible. If conversations have to happen in person, follow up with an email summarizing what was discussed and agreed on. Save copies outside your work account. If you're in a state where it's legal, you can also record conversations. Document patterns over time, not just one-off incidents.

Q: Can a toxic workplace affect my mental health? 
A: Yes, and the research backs it up. Chronic stress from a toxic work environment can lead to anxiety, depression, burnout, and physical symptoms like headaches and sleep issues. It also tends to spill into your home life. If you're showing up at home as a worse version of yourself, your job is costing you more than a paycheck.

Keep Reading: Other posts you might need

• Am I burned out or in the wrong job? - If you're not sure whether the problem is the environment or something deeper, start here.

• How to survive a job you hate - For when you've confirmed it's toxic but can't leave yet.

• 4 things to do before you quit your job - Once you've decided to leave, here's how to exit without torching anything on the way out.

• Career Gaslighting: Signs you're convincing yourself to love a job that drains you - The sneakier version of the same problem, when you've started to doubt your own read on the workplace.

Hi! I’m Erica

Licensed psychotherapist. Corporate dropout. Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. ADHDer. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. Swear words enthusiast.

I know exactly what it’s like to have a life that looks successful on the outside but feel chronically exhausted, frustrated, and completely lost on the inside.

I help underachieving high-achievers create lives and careers they love, without burning out.

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