I know what it’s like to spend Sunday dreading the work week.
Two precious days off, and I’d waste one of them sitting around with a knot in my stomach, counting down the hours until my weekend ended.
Or fantasizing about becoming a realtor or working at Starbucks.
As a career coach and life coach, I talk to a lot of people who feel burnt out, uninspired, or straight up miserable in their current jobs. They want something to change, but they don’t know what to do.
You hate your job. Now what?
So you hate your job.
You hate how Susan chews too loudly on the other side of the cubicle wall.
You hate how you’re always having to redo Bob’s work.
You hate that while Janet is your superior and makes twice your salary, you actually know more than she does.
You could probably catalog your grievances. And it can be fun to think about how shitty everyone is at work.
You know you hate it. But you’re not sure if it’s the job or you.
You just know that something has to change.
Your feelings about your job don’t actually come from your job
Say what?
Remember in Office Space when Jennifer Aniston’s boss wants her to wear all the flair? She’s not into it. Her supervisor is. And that other guy, the super perky one, is really into it too.
It’s all the same job. It’s the same required pieces of flair. They all had their own thoughts about it.
Your job is just your job.
Your coworkers are just your coworkers.
And your supervisor is just your supervisor.
They’re all just circumstances in your life.
The way you feel about your job straight up comes from your thoughts.
That’s why when you first met Susan you thought, “She’s so nice!” When you started the job you maybe thought, “They have free sugar packets in the break room! This is going to be great!” [Then again, maybe you hated everyone and everything from go]
Your thoughts create your feelings.
If you think, “I can’t believe Bob screwed up his TPS reports AGAIN,” you feel frustrated.
If you think, “Janet is a moron,” you feel pissed.
If you think, “I shouldn’t have to work this much,” you feel miserable.
Your job might be a bad fit (more about that here) At least some of this is from your thoughts.
What do you think about your job?
I used to work in a job where I thought I did too much work.
I thought I was carrying my team and they didn’t pull their weight. So I resented them and secretly thought shitty thoughts about them.
Then I changed jobs.
After a few months in the new job I realized I thought I was doing more than my fair share of the work. My teammates weren’t pulling their weight. I felt like I had to do my job AND their jobs.
And then KA-BLAMMO! Awareness lightning strike!
I was perpetuating the same story in all my jobs.
Maybe it wasn’t a fact that I did “too much.” Maybe it was me. Maybe I was creating that reality and my frustration with my thinking and my actions.
In which case, changing jobs was never going to solve the problem. Because (cringe) - the problem was my thinking.
This is actually good news for you!
You’re probably going to hate some of this. That’s cool. I get it. After all, susan’s chewing is objectively REALLY loud.
But this is actually good news.
Because while you can’t change Susan or Janet or Bob. You can change some of your feelings by changing your thoughts. But it starts with awareness.
Take a moment and list your thoughts about your job. Ask yourself:
What do I think about my career path?
What do I think about my coworkers?
What do I think about my supervisor?
What do I think about this job?
Write it all down. Then ask yourself:
Are these thoughts true?
How do these thoughts make me feel?
Who would I be without these thoughts?
Choosing to hate your job a little less.
So now that you know that your feelings about your job come from your thoughts, you can start to choose new ones.
And no, I’m not going to tell you to think loving, happy, ra-ra thoughts about your work. That’s not how this works.
You have to choose thoughts YOU CAN BELIEVE. And yes, I’M GOING TO YELL THIS PART FOR EMPHASIS. THIS IS LOVING YELLING.
If you don’t believe the thoughts, then they’re worthless.
Choose something that’s slightly less negative or more neutral than what you currently think. For example:
Instead of “I can’t believe Bob screwed up his TPS reports AGAIN,” you can think, “Bob must hate these TPS reports as much as I do.”
Instead of thinking, “Janet is a mornon,” you can think, “Janet is doing the best she can.”
Instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t have to work this much,” you can think, “I can say ‘no’ if I’m overwhelmed.”
Choosing your next steps and find what you love
Listen, I don’t believe in “dream jobs.” I don’t think that’s a thing.
All jobs have pros and cons. (Just like how even the dreamiest significant others sometimes leave their socks around the house or leave the toilet seat up so you fall in in the middle of the night).
But there’s nothing wrong with wanting something different from what you currently have. As long as, and especially if, you realize that your job is not responsible for your happiness.
Take this time to figure out what matters to you. Ask yourself:
What are my non-negotiables in the next job?
How do I want to add value?
What am I passionate about?
What kind of activities make me lose track of time?
Run toward something, not away from what you have
Let’s be honest, there’s nothing worse than quitting a job you hate to only land in another job that’s even worse. And I’ve definitely known people who’ve been in that situation.
It’s important to envision your future so you don’t fall into this trap.
Because if you’re just running away from something you don’t like, then you’re losing out on the opportunity to design a better future.
Use your current experiences to help inform what you do next.
That way you can find the job that fills your cup. So you can be as happy as Brian with his 37 pieces of flair.
If you want to make a career change, I want to help. Click below to connect with me.
Hi! I’m Erica
Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.
I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach who helps high achievers stop procrastinating and second-guessing themselves and start living.
Follow me on Instagram
