Should I stay or go? How to make the career decision that’s keeping you up at night

I once complained about my job so much that my husband begged me to either quit or shut up.

He didn’t say it quite like that (he’s a nice guy), but the message was clear: Something’s gotta give, babe.

And honestly? He was right.

I was stuck in that awful limbo where everything looks “fine” on the outside.
But on the inside, I was mentally checked out, deeply resentful, and constantly spiraling over the same question:

Should I stay or should I go?

I’d waffle back and forth all day.
Make pro/con lists.
Vent to anyone who’d listen.
Tell myself, “It’s not that bad,” while googling “how to know if you should quit your job” for the hundredth time.

It was exhausting. And the worst part?

I didn’t trust myself to make the decision.

So if you’ve been circling this drain too (spinning in doubt, fear, guilt, or burnout) this post is for you. 

Let’s finally unpack what’s keeping you stuck and how to get the clarity (and relief) you actually need.

Why It's So Hard to Decide Whether to Quit Your Job

If you’ve been googling “Should I quit my job?” on your lunch break, followed by “How to know if I’m just burnt out,” you’re not alone. 

Let me reassure you: getting stuck here doesn’t mean you’re flaky or indecisive. 

It usually means you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and trying to make a massive life decision while running on caffeine, willpower, and sheer force of “just get through the day.”

As someone who’s coached dozens of high-achievers through this exact dilemma (and lived it myself) I’ve seen the same roadblocks come up again and again.

Here are four common reasons you still feel stuck:

1. You’re afraid of quitting and regretting it

One of the biggest fears I hear from clients is,
“What if I quit and it’s worse?”

It’s totally valid. 

When you’ve invested years into your career, the thought of leaving can feel reckless. 

But here’s the deal: staying stuck because you might regret leaving is its own kind of regret. 

I’ve seen this play out over and over with clients.
They stay in jobs that drain them for months (or years) trying to logic their way into loving it. 

Spoiler: peace doesn’t come from staying small.

Ask yourself: If nothing changed in the next 6 months, would I be okay with that?

2. You don’t want to quit a job you “should be grateful for”

Whew. Here’s one I see a lot (and had myself).
That “My job is a ‘good job’!” conundrum.

I get it. My corporate job was technically great.
I got to work from home and wear yoga pants everyday.
The pay was decent.
My coworkers were all pretty cool.

And I still fantasized about faking an unpleasant GI situation to get out of Wednesday’s staff meeting.

Here’s the truth:
You can be grateful and want more.
You can appreciate your team and dread opening your laptop.
You can have a “good job” on paper and still feel like your soul is slowly being vacuumed out of your body.

Gratitude is great. But there’s no gratitude jar that’s going to make you start loving Mondays.

And it’s not a reason to stay stuck in something that’s no longer working.

Wanting more for your life isn’t selfish. It’s a sign you’re waking up.

3. Burnout is clouding your judgment

When you’re burned out, even simple decisions feel impossible. 

You second-guess everything.
You avoid taking action.
You tell yourself, “I’ll figure it out later,” but later never comes.

Listen — Trying to make a life-altering career choice while running on fumes?
That’s like trying to do calculus in a hurricane.

One of the things I work on with clients is helping them restore enough energy and clarity to make actual decisions…not panic-fueled ones. 

If you feel too exhausted to even think about job hunting, that’s not a failure.
That’s a nervous system waving a white flag.

If your body is begging for rest, your career clarity won’t come from one more pros-and-cons list. 

It’ll come from restoring your energy and getting support, FIRST.
THEN move onto the job stuff. 

(Trust me — Your next boss doesn’t want to hire a burnt out puddle)

4. You’re too good at surviving a job that isn’t good for you

You’re like a career contortionist — twisting yourself into a pretzel to make anything work.

High-achievers are excellent at making things work…even when they shouldn’t.

More work? Sure thing.
Impossible deadline? On it.
Fix Susan’s bad Excel spreadsheet math? Fine.

Overfunctioning, pushing yourself, and swooping in is your norm.
And so is feeling resentful, tired, and like you want to quit every 5 minutes.

Here’s the red flag: if you’re constantly questioning whether to leave, it’s probably not working.

How to actually know if you should stay or quit your job

Okay, so now you know why you’re stuck.
But how do you actually figure out whether it’s time to leave?

Because let’s be honest — if pros and cons lists worked, you wouldn’t be here, doom-scrolling career blogs at 10:43 PM.

Here’s what I walk clients through when they’re in the “Should I burn it all down or just get a new coffee mug and push through?” phase:

1. Ask yourself: If nothing changes in the next 6 months, how will I feel?

This one cuts through the noise fast.

Not “Can I survive it?” (because of course you can, you’re great at hard things).

But how will it feel to stay in this exact job, with this exact boss, and this exact Sunday Scaries spiral for another six months?

If your answer sounds like “numb, ragey, or ready to fake a family emergency every Monday,” that’s a clue.

2. Notice how you feel when you imagine leaving

Close your eyes for 10 seconds and picture yourself handing in your notice.

Do you feel lighter?
Hopeful?
Like maybe your left eyelid will finally stop twitching?

Or do you feel panicked and vaguely pukey in a “Dear God, please no” kind of way?

Your body always knows. 

You just have to hear it before your brain comes in with the old — “But it’s not THAT BAD! Others have it WAY WORSE” shpiel. 

3. Pay attention to resentment

Resentment is like career mold.
It creeps in quietly, stinks up the place, and gets toxic fast.

If you find yourself annoyed at your coworkers, your clients, or that one Slack thread that pings 47 times before lunch... yeah. That’s not just moodiness.

It’s a sign you might be giving way more than you’re getting.

Sure, some of that is fixable. 

But sometimes? It’s just your body’s way of whisper-yelling, “We are not okay here.”

Also: if you’ve ever fantasized about quitting Jerry Maguire-style and taking the company fish with you… hi, you’re not alone.

4. Know what’s actually keeping you there

Be honest with yourself:

Are you staying because you feel lit up by the work, supported by your team, and excited about what’s next?

Or are you staying because the health insurance is good and you’re scared you’ll somehow ruin your life if you leave?

Golden handcuffs still leave a mark.
And fear-based decisions? They tend to age like milk.

5. You don’t have to make the leap. You just have to make the next move.

This isn’t about storming out dramatically with a box full of office supplies and a speech. (Unless you want to. In which case, DM me. I want the details.)

It can be one small, brave step.

Updating your resume.
Talking to a coach.
Reaching out to someone in a field you’ve always been curious about.
Applying to one job.
Saying out loud, “I don’t think I want to do this anymore.”

Your clarity doesn’t have to be instant. It just has to start.

Still not sure if you should quit your job? That’s okay

If you’ve read this far, you’re probably not just “a little unhappy at work.”

You’re probably stuck in a cycle of burnout, overthinking, and asking ChatGPT for career advice at weird hours.

And the truth is, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

This is the exact kind of messy, mid-career, “what the hell do I do next?” crossroads I help clients untangle every day.

If you're ready to stop spinning and start moving (without blowing up your life and going all Eat-Pray-Love in the process) book a free consult and let’s talk.

No pressure. No “you should definitely quit tomorrow” advice.

Just clarity, strategy, and a little (okay, a lot of) validation.

👉 Click here to schedule your free consult

Keep reading: Other posts you might like

• This is why you feel resentful.  Spoiler: it’s not because you’re ungrateful.

• Why being 'too nice' is making you miserable. Especially if your workplace depends on you not having boundaries.

• What to do when you’ve outgrown your job.  For when everything looks fine on the outside, but you’re bored out of your mind.

• Why am I so exhausted all the time?  For when you're wondering if it's burnout or just being a human in late-stage capitalism.

Should I quit my job or stick it out? (FAQ’s Answered)

Q: How do I know if I should quit my job or just take a break?
If a vacation or mental health day feels like a Band-Aid, not a fix, it may be more than burnout. Taking a break might help you recharge, but if you come back and still dread Mondays? It might be time for a bigger change.

Q: Is it bad to leave a stable job just because I’m not happy?
Nope. Stability matters. But so does your well-being. If you’re staying out of fear or guilt, that’s not stability. That’s self-sacrifice dressed up as “being responsible.”

Q: What if I regret leaving my job?
Totally valid fear. But regret often comes from making a rushed decision without clarity or support. That’s why I help clients slow down, get clear, and make decisions they feel good about - now and later.

Q: Should I quit my job if I don’t know what I want to do next?
Not necessarily. You don’t need a perfect plan, but you do need some clarity about what’s not working and what you want instead. That’s where coaching comes in. I’ll help you figure it out before you burn it all down.

Q: Is it burnout or the wrong job for me?
Burnout and job misalignment often hang out together. If you’ve been in survival mode for months, your exhaustion might be clouding your ability to see the real issue. That’s why we start by dealing with the burnout, then make moves from a clearer, more energized place.

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Hi! I’m Erica

Licensed psychotherapist. Corporate dropout. Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. ADHDer. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. Swear words enthusiast.

I know exactly what it’s like to have a life that looks successful on the outside but feel chronically exhausted, frustrated, and completely lost on the inside.

I help underachieving high-achievers create lives and careers they love, without burning out.

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